Back Off and Let Her Eat Her CAKE!

*****Warning : I bawled my eyes out at this story so if you're a crier and don't want to cry, you can skip this rant********


I read this story on the Evil Beet here about a nine year old little girl who is dying of leukemia and only has a few weeks to live. Her wish was to have a wedding and her parents gave it to her. In a sweet, little (non legal) ceremony, she and a fellow seven year old patient, exchanged vows to "be friends, forever and ever." She wore a beautiful white dress and got to walk down the aisle in front of her family and friends and then they had a reception afterwards, where they got to eat and dance. In short, she had the perfect fantasy wedding, except instead of wearing a lace doily on her head and having all of her stuffed animals attend, this was a little more realistic.

Now you would think that the story would end here, with the bitter-sweet tears and small amount of empathetic heartache; however, the women over on a site called Jezebel didn't think that her dream was the correct dream for a nine year old. They thought that it wasn't appropriate.

But doesn't "marriage" — the concept, the word, the institution — carry far too
much weight for a nine-year-old? Even in an attempt to indulge a little girl,
aren't you setting up some dangerous truths? Namely, that getting married is the
most important thing a female can do in her life? And that no matter how short
your life is, it's not complete unless you get hitched? ... I guess I just wish
that we lived in a world where little girls dream about being something other
than a woman who promises to honor and obey.

Now I've run across some other stories on Jezebel that I haven't really agreed with, I think the main one was about mommy bloggers, but I may be mistaken there. It got me a little ticked off but I just decided that it was a site not worth reading for me. But this one really bugs me. It's just such a knee jerk feminist response. I understand what they are promoting but I seriously think that they are going about it the wrong way. Just as it is wrong for me to say to a business woman that she is not really a person until she finds a husband, settles down and has a few kids, it's not right for her to tell me that I'm not a person unless I have a fulfilling career.

Feminism has lost it's way I think. There are a lot of feminists out there who believe that if you're not exactly like them, wanting a great career, a high paying job and being entirely self sufficient all of the time, then you're not a Woman. They can't see that I am happy, and fulfilled, being a mom and a wife. To them, I feed the system saying I want to be a stay at home mother. I must be brainwashed or I have a false sense of my place in the world. My dad used to call them feminazi's and he was right, they are just as bad as the other side, making people feel bad if they want a more "traditional" role as a woman, just as men used to try and make women feel bad for wanting a career.

I think true feminism should be allowing a woman to chose her own destiny. Marriage is not all about obedience (I'm actually not sure if that line made it into my vows) and women who dream of and chose marriage are not mindless, or brainwashed, just as women who chose careers are not harden, or bitter. Not everyone out there is looking for the same thing and rather then being critical of someone who is different, I think that we should accept their point of view as another part of life. But most of all, I don't think we should criticize the wish of a dying kid. Jayla, I hope that your "wedding" was everything you hoped it would be.