Monday, March 9

At First I Was Afraid.....

So the kids had their first visit with Daddy. I came home and nearly started bawling and I was shaking and then I started cleaning. When I get upset, I clean. It's kinda weird. Considering cleaning is like one of my most hated things on earth the fact that I throw myself into it with such vigor when upset is kinda confusing to me. I even start enjoying it. But now that the kids are home, and tucked safely into bed, my stomach is still tied in knots and everything about my new situation seems oddly more real. For the first time in a few nights, I'm home again and alone again.

I think I hate my new life.......

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, it will get easier, hate to say it, but true.

And cleaning is a much healthier reaction to stress and upset than eating!

(silver lining)

Kelsey said...

yeah, I guess every little bit helps, lol, it's always baffled me though how the one activity that I hate gives me such comfort when I'm upset. Thanks for your support though, I do appreaciate it. :)

(and yeah, I was afraid of emotional eating issues but for some reason, although I couldn't seem to stop eating during my marriage, now that it's done, I have to remind myself to eat because my stomach is so upset)

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing and it's really not hard to see why. Things are out of your control and you feel a mess inside so you impress order onto the areas around you in hopes that that order will make it's way into your life. I know, I'm deep eh. I can't imagine the stress it must have cuased to let your kids go, even for a little while, to the man who left you (and your kids). I'd have cleaned too.

Anonymous said...

It's Charlene by the way....LoL

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