Letting Go

Today was Ben's first day of daycare. *sniff* I've finally had to send him to daycare for two days a week. He goes Monday and Tuesday from 9-3 while I work at home and Mac naps. It was a bit of a rough morning. On one hand I think this is best for him. He gets to socialize more and the at home daycare that I've put him in seems great. They run it like a school and teach the kids a new letter every week and a new concept. This week is the letter "O" and the concept of "summer." Ben already knows most of this but I do think that this will prepare him for school when he's four. But it was still a little sad to see my baby go off. Since Ben was born, my husband, Brian and I have been bending over backwards so that at most he would be left with grandparents. This meant months and months of only seeing one another after 11:00 at night (when I had to wake up at 6:00 for work) or on the weekends. It nearly tore us apart being practically single parents all the time but we deemed it worthwile. Now we have a fairly viable solution of me working from home but Ben is too loud and too unpredictable to be counted on for sleeping for certain hours whereas Mac well, as long as you don't go pick her up, she'll stay in bed. And so daycare, which we call school to Ben. When I first told him about it, he was so excited he could barely contain himself. He kept asking about his schoolbooks and everytime he saw a school bus, he would proudly annouce that it was His School Bus. This morning when I dropped him off, I had to choke back tears as he ran off to play with the other kids without even a backwards glance or a kiss goodbye. My little man is growing up. I think I need to go cry a bit. :)