Friday, May 22

My weakness is that I care to much, and my scars remind me the past is real...

Sorry for the slow comment moderation, I need to adjust my settings a bit so that I get an email when a comment is awaiting moderation and then we'll be golden. I just want to ability to delete the stupid spam that sometimes gets posted despite my best efforts. And thank you for all your kind words, I appreciate them, my lawyer has sent him a letter stating that if he wants access to the house he needs to write a list of things and then I will consider them and if I want to give them to him, I will allow him access when I am home to retrieve those items, have I mentioned yet that I like my lawyer? 'Cause I do. So things seem to finally be moving forward with the custody date set and the stuff being divided up (although he already took a whole bunch of stuff without my knowledge so him taking more seems laughable).

I think I'm finally feeling confident in the moving on arena of my life, I do still shake my head when I look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking but more then anything I KNOW this is so much better for me, now I have a chance to be with someone who cares for me as I am and who doesn't play all these stupid games, who's more concerned with my feelings rather then just selfishly being focused on them. 
So I'm moving, in like 8 days. Yeah my landlord and ex got together and managed to make it so that I have no choice but to move, so I'm looking at apartments and trying to pack and sort through the junk so that I don't pack his crap, he can get it after I leave. But I checked it out with the authorities and I have no real choice in the matter; however, I do have a choice in where I go *insert evil smile here.* So I am not staying here in this city, see this, this is a very specific finger waving in a certain someone's direction. I've always hated this town and wanted out but there was a time when I was willing to stay so that he would have easier access to the kids, but those times have passed. And yeah, I will not be doing all the driving, right now I do but I usually need him to have the access so I can work, and he doesn't drive (pure laziness not because he can't not even because he can't afford it, my parents gave him his licence as a gift two years back he just could never be bothered when I was there to chauffer him around) so he can figure it out for himself, but it's not my problem. There are buses, like I care if you need to travel that long, I'm not preventing him from seeing his kids, I would never do that, but I don't have to be as helpful as I have been. He wants to make my life this difficult, well then I can move on and get over this niceness where he's concerned.

The great thing about scars, is the skin is less sensitive once they've healed....

3 comments:

Molly said...

I know you didn't ask, but I am gonna say it anyway.

Please do not consider another relationship with anyone for at least 2 years. The damage your marriage has caused in your life will keep rearing its head for several months and even though right now you feel SO MUCH better-there is still much to do and learn about you.

But, the move does sound like a great idea, no walls to remind you-that can be very healing!

JDH said...

Someone would probably wait that long if that's what it took. She's worth the wait, Im sure.

Anonymous said...

Not that it's my place, but looking for someone never works. Someone will find you. Until then, keep doing what your doing. It sounds like your being very productive in getting your life back on track.

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